Infinitely More

I've been planning on writing this post for awhile but my own attitude has been getting in the way. Yesterday I had time and was just about to get to work on here and felt thoroughly unqualified... hypocritical.

Things aren't much different today. Except that I realized I will never be fully qualified in myself to ever share God's Word. Jesus Christ alone makes me qualified.

And oh the irony considering what I'm wanting to share. Beginning with this verse...

We all struggle with sin, whether "serious" or seemingly harmless but still a nagging and frustrating issue. Sin is sin is sin. And as believers we all need to be working through our sin and claiming victory daily! But sometimes, if we're honest, it really feels hopeless.

This verse is motivational! And seriously relieving. It isn't about me overcoming my sin. It's about Him and His power doing WAY MORE than just giving us victory! All glory to God!! I can't wait to see what that "infinitely more" looks like this time!

I just finished working through my second Beth Moore Bible study - Psalms of Ascent. The very day after God brought this verse to my mind (it really flew into my mind straight from the Holy Spirit Himself!), Beth had some very insightful things to encourage me with...

"Beloved, if you're like me, God is not keeping the record. You are. You keep playing that record over and over. You may think you're honoring God with misery over your past mistakes, but you're not. Just like I did, you're walking in unbelief - not trusting what He promised to do if you'd repent... It does not honor God.

Psalm 32:1-2 says, 'How happy is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered! How happy is the man the Lord does not charge with sin, and in whose spirit is no deceit!'

...Somewhere deep in our souls we want to punish ourselves and return to what we deserve. Dear One, Christ took what we deserve."

I gotta admit, got some prickles of tears from that last sentence. And it also made me think of running.

(((It's amazing how much running relates to life!)))

I remember one particular run when I was staring down a crazy long county road. My very first thought as I crested the hill was "holy crap there is no way..." but before I could finish that thought a much better one interrupted: "bring it on!" I not only finished that seemingly endless stretch of pavement, I was elated! Exhausted but thrilled.

Beth had something to say about that, too! 

"Elation is one of the things God uses to make nothing worth returning to that sin. You will come to love the feeling of forgiveness and freedom much more than fleshly pleasure."

I know what it's like to feel elated after a run. It is so much of why I run. Because sometimes the run itself is hard. Sometimes it's not even fun. Okay, I will even go so far to say that I have hated many a run. But most often the hardest, most painful runs, are the most rewarding.

The road to true victory over sin, whether it be "minor" or "major" is stinkin' hard. But tuck Ephesians 3:20 away for easy retrieval then look your sin square in the eyes. Tell it to bring it, kick it in the face, then bask in beautiful forgiveness and freedom!

Victory in Jesus!!

 

Baby Update

I've taken miscellaneous preggo pics this pregnancy but seriously, they are not pretty. I just do not make a "cute" pregnant person. But here's a pic from 28 weeks that I shared on Facebook, so I might as well share on here. You will very likely not see another.

I had my fourth ultrasound yesterday. The third ultrasound showed strange measurements... apparently the head was measuring a little over a week smaller than the rest of the body. But yesterday's ultrasound put that to rest. Not only is this baby growing strong and healthy, it is measuring somewhere around 2 weeks further along. Surprised? Me either.

See, my due date is debatable, so it's hard to say exactly. But the doc said this baby is weighing in at 3.5 lbs. Whether I am 28 or 29 weeks, this is at least a pound heavier than average.

I also recently found out, just like with my previous babes, I do not have gestational diabetes or any risk of it, I have low blood pressure and I'm anemic (which supposedly contributes to low birth weight). Maybe this will go on the list of questions to ask God in heaven... why the huge babies?

The ultrasound tech said I have a super long cervix which I had heard before. But this lady could actually tell me something interesting... she said it puts me at very low risk of pre-term labor. In her mind that was a great thing. In mine... well sure I don't want to have this baby super early. But a little early would be nice!

And finally, my placenta has been low, which is the main reason for all the ultrasounds. It is moving up very slowly but the bottom line is, if it doesn't do some real moving, if I go into labor or not doesn't matter. A csection will be required.

Another question to add to the list... why all the csections??

I know that God's hand has been in all of it. I'm clinging to that. We desperately want at least one more baby after this one. It is very possible that after 2 sections, a vbac might be even more dangerous than a 3rd section... at least in my case with the big babes and the low placenta. Or maybe God doesn't want us to have 4.

Nope, I'm not ready to think about that.

It's been a crazy busy week. I'm tired and more hormonal than normal. But I must end this baby update on a much higher note...

Baby Amber Jade/Kempton Charles is healthy, growing, and going to be here in 10-11 weeks. Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Family Weekend

During our pre-babies relationship, Derek always had a blast doing things elaborately. Every birthday, anniversary of any kind, and often just because, he'd do something super romantic that usually involved going somewhere. Since having kids (and getting rid of our credit card!) money has been very tight. And just leaving for the weekend is not nearly as easy as it used to be.

Sometimes Derek seems to feel guilty about this. He's passionate about giving gifts. It's his love language and his spiritual gift.

This mother's day weekend he gave me exactly what I wanted and I just don't think he even realizes how I couldn't have asked for it any other way.

Saturday he decided to stay home from work. I love Saturdays when he is home. The kids are always elated. I didn't even get irritated when he dragged me out of bed at 7am. The amazingly delicious black raspberry smoothie and cheese bagel from Panera and fresh wild flowers in the vase made it worth it. And sitting at the kitchen table for just a couple minutes in the quiet morning before the kids smelled the bagels was priceless.

Then we packed a lunch and headed to the park. My heart is full just thinking about it! After the whole family took naps, we headed over to my sister's house for my nephew's 3rd birthday party. It's not often everyone gets to be in one place (except Rebecca - we missed you!) and it was so fulfilling.

Mother's Day morning Derek gave the kids a bath and got them dressed while I went on a quiet morning walk. When I got back, we decided to stay home from church for more family time. So we headed over to my parents and played hard. Derek cut down some trees for my mom, we ate a ton of very unhealthy food. Then my parents graciously watched the babies while we went to see Avengers and eat dinner at Fridays.

Being together for extended periods of time doesn't happen often. It was the best Mother's Day weekend I've ever had.

Thank you, Baber. I love you.

An Interesting Read

"Speech to the Convention for Forming a Constitution for the United States" (excerpt)

Benjamin Franklin

1787

 

In the beginning of the contest with Britain when we were sensible of danger, we had daily prayers in this room for the Divine protection. Our prayers, Sir, were heard, and they were graciously answered. ...And have we now forgotten this powerful Friend? Or do we imagine that we no longer need his assistance? I have lived for a long time (81 years), and the longer I live the more convincing proof I see of this truth, that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without his notice, is it possible that an empire can rise without his aid? We have been assured, Sir, in the sacred writings, that "Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it." I firmly believe this, and I also believe that without his concurring aid we shall proceed in this political building no better than the builders of Babel.

Mile 4

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There's something about mile 4.

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You've completed C25K. One mile is pretty much easy. Two miles is not bad. Three miles is no longer daunting. But four…

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And at this point you still kinda hate running. You love that you've accomplished the training and maybe you've run that 5k race, but you still pretty much hate every minute you're pounding pavement.

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Maybe this is not you. Maybe you loved running that first ding on your C25K app. Or you thought you loved running that early on. But you haven't completed mile 4.

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There's something about mile 4.

You lace up your shoes (or pull on your Vibrams!) and head out the door for that very first 4 mile run. You're a little nervous, unsure, kinda intimidated, and actually quite excited, though you are not ready to admit it.

One mile. Okay.

Two miles. Halfway. Hallelujah.

Three miles. WALL.

But don't stop there. That wall is not real. Keep pushing through it. You're on mile 4…

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It might take a couple minutes. Maybe even most of mile 4 but then it's suddenly there. That door between the first 3 miles you forced yourself through and probably hated every minute of, and Mile 4 where runners live.

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Real runners. Runners who love to run. Runners who run just to run.

This is where running becomes more than just something you do but becomes part of who you are.

When you've finished that mile 4, you will have crossed over to a world that will change you forever. The world of running. The world of being a runner.

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You will stagger in the door laughing. You'll find yourself thinking (or even shouting!)...

I can't wait to hit mile 5... 6... 13... 26...

I love to run.

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Several miles into your future you'll still be nostalgic about that first 4 miles. You'll remember the very spot you slammed head first into an invisible wall but somehow managed to crash through. You'll find yourself taking that same route for your just-for-fun runs or when you need a quick get-away. It'll become one of those "firsts" that you love to reminisce about and you write about in your journal.

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There's something about mile 4. It is the gateway into hundreds, thousands of miles ahead.

Welcome to our world, fellow runner. 



Which mile was your mile 4??